New Japanese film reviews appear every last Friday of the month.

Zatoichi **

Takeshi Kitano's much-vaunted remake of the legendary Shintaro Katsu blind swordsman series comes across as generic NHK period drama enlivened with anachronisms. It's really not half as entertaining or original as it's being hyped, with the very average swordplay jazzed up with artistic CG blood splashes and tricky editing effects. Characters are whisper-thin, story is the generic yakuza scenario, music is a jarring cross between cheesy drum-n-bass and traditional shamisen. Beat Takeshi plays the new Zatoichi as a shy giggling loner, Asano Tadanobu is underused as the one-note stoic ronin samurai out to avenge the drubbing he got from a kendo teacher years before, and various members of Takeshi's Army get much more screen time than they deserve.

Watashi no Grandpa ***

An interesting relationship drama about a young girl who meets her grandpa for the first time in 10 years, and discovers that he's done a stretch in jail for murder. She's confused when the townsfolk treat him with respect and affection, and slowly comes to realise the stubborn old fart is some kind of local hero. Newcomer Satomi Ishihara plays the young girl Tamako, and well-known Yakuza movie stalwart Bunta Sugawara plays the upright old geezer. Directed and written by Yoichi Higashi, who did the Village of Dreams, My Granpa has a well developed script that ties small several stories together as it builds to the inevitable showdown between granpa and the local gang boss (overplayed by Masato Ibu).

Tsuri Baka Nikki 14 **

(Diary of a Fishing Nut 14). In this latest episode of Shochiku's replacement for Tora-san, the rogueish salesman and fishing freak Hama-chan (played by the irrepressible Toshiyuki Nishida) gets roped into a pilgrimage with fishing budding and company CEO Suzuki (Rentaro Mikuni). In Shikoku, the pair soon leave the sacred route for a local fishing spot, and end up in an inn run by a beautiful single mother, played by the glamorous Reiko Takashima. There's much that's familiar, including the satirical view of corporate Japan, endless drunken karaoke and Nishida's goofy hamming. In an attempt to entice filmgoers back in to the cinemas, tickets for this film are only 1000 yen (instead of the usual 1800).

Dragon Head *

An SFX-driven catastophe movie directed by George Iida, based on a cult manga. A wimpish boy and a blubbering girl are the only survivors of an underground bullet-train crash. They escape from the tunnel and find themselves in a world that is completely buried under volcanic ash and brimstone. Sensational matte paintings, massive sets (it was filmed in Uzbekistan), and CG effects conjure a brilliant vision of a suddenly destroyed world, but story is a one-note samba with the two hysterical teens stumbling around being threatened by other mad survivors for two hours. When they finally find safety in a derelict Tokyo, they discover the surviving population has turned into living vegetables by eating canned food! Our two teen heroes, Satoshi Tsumabaki from Waterboys and Seiko Matsuda's daughter Sayaka, respond by stumbling away blubbering.

Tenshi no Kiba **

Literally "Angel's Fangs," this debut feature from Ryo Nishimura looks very slick and cool shot in shades of metallic gray and silver, but the story eats itself. A powerful new drug syndicate has corrupted someone inside an elite cop unit. One of the cops (Takao Osawa) looks suspicious - he keeps killing captured gangsters before they can talk - and even more so when he vanishes after a shootout. His girlfriend, another elite cop, has her brain implanted into the body of the gangster's lover - for reasons that are never explained. There are many shootouts in tunnels, slo-mo bullet-time sequences, dreamily lit romantic moments between the cop and his ex-lover (the new host for his girlfriend's brain is even cuter), but the story is simply preposterous.

Perfect Education 4 ***

The fourth in this never-ending series (apparently number 5 is already complete) about the kidnapping and training of young schoolgirls by lonely old men. In this episode, subtitled The Secret Basement, Taro Yamamoto plays a mute nerd who kidnaps teenage hooker Hisako Hirata and ties her up in the attic. But things aren't all they seem this time around. The feisty schoolgirl fights, teases, cajoles and even bullies her captor. The film plays with audience expectations to create a bizarre, constantly shifting drama. It is sometimes hard to keep up with who is who, especially in the extended, ultra-theatrical S&M session in the "secret basement" that delves into the guy's tragic past, but the final denouement is both unexpected and somehow natural.

Lost by Dead *

Directed by Masato Tsujioka, star of Shinya Tsukamoto's Tokyo Fist, this is a punk indie movie about rockstar Akira who is tormented by the death of his girlfriend and by fears that he killed her. Shot in dark, fuzzy tones of charcoal grey, further obscured by video processing, this is hardcore indie moviemaking. It's like trying to make sense of murky shadows on a wall. Most of the time, it's hard to pick out what's on the screen, let alone follow the rudimentary story. Akira shoots up heroin, beats people to a pulp, whomps a mohican-haired punk in a bar fight, and then gets his groin stamped on (in an endless scene that had me crossing my legs repeatedly) by two weirdoes who follow him around in a car. Meanwhile, his worried band members hire a homely girl fan to replace the dead girlfriend. A soundtrack of ear-bleed-inducing rock tracks accompanies the grimy violence.

Hebi Ichigo ****

Extraordinarily polished debut from director Miwa Nishikawa, who worked on Hirokazu Kore-eda's After Life. A very searching look at a "normal" Japanese family as its attempts to keep up appearances all come to naught at a family funeral. At the wake, the staid businessman father (Sei Hiraizumi) is exposed as a profligate debtor, mom (Naoko Otani) asks for a divorce, and the black sheep of the family (Hiroyuki Miyasako) returns as a thief and conman. The daughter (Miho Tsumiki) tries to ignore the family shenanigans as she embarks on a love affair with a patently useless teacher. Directing from her own script, Nishikawa crafts a constantly surprising black comedy from the lives of these ordinary rogues and unfortunates.